Anyone else here grow up swimming in rivers/lakes but still ended up thalassophobic?

So I've been exposed to natural bodies of water since I was very small. My family owns a summer house purchased back when land was like a nickle or something, and it's a tiny little cottage perched on a long winding dead end road in what is now a protected river area.So we'd go up there all the time, swim and raft down the river. The river would vary in depths and the deepest area was right next to some huge cliffy rocks that people would dive off of. I remember watching the divers and noticed a scuba diver in the same area diving for stuff people have lost over time. He said that the area was very, very deep. And when he told me, I felt eerily uncomfortable about that spot ever since.It's weird growing up in a river but ending up thalassophobic. I could never swim alone, and if something touched me I'd nope out of there. At times I'd see dead fish on the bottom, which yknow, happens a lot bc its a river, and I'd also nope the fuck out of there. Ive seen logs floating down knowing full well they were logs and still had to nope out of there. But even with this intense uneasiness that affected me and also a few of my cousins, I became obsessed with the underwater environment. When I find myself swimming in pools I usually wish I was swimming in a lake or river instead.It's interesting having a deep love for water, the wildlife in it, and the act of swimming, but still having adrenaline-inducing anxiety pangs. What's made me thinking is, did swimming in a natural body of water make me more /aware/ of how spooky the water is?My girlfriend doesn't know how to swim and has never swam in a natural water body before, and she's been watching me play Subnautica (fantastic game and the anxiety pangs make it even more thrilling, for me anyway. like watching a scary movie) and at one point I had to pause the game and take a break because I was too scared of something I saw (a wrecked ship) and she mentioned that none of this made her even a little scared at all.And I'm just thinking, why am I scared when I'm a remarkably good swimmer and have dove down in natural bodies of water before, but her with no experience is completely fine?Does anyone else have a similar background? Maybe growing up in a river/lake makes the brain more aware of the 'dangers'?