Same

When I was a small kid my uncle gave me a book about different types of fish as a present and though I really liked it, the last pages were about deep sea fish and calamari (the giant ones) and megalodons and all that shit. At that point it wasn't really a phobia, but more like a fascination and something creepy at the same time. I got some more books and then I saw those really creepy fish with huge jaws, thin, long and sharp teeth and big dead eyeballs, only visible in the black depths because their skeletons seemed to shimmer. Pictures of those giant calamari made me think of diving and suddenly seeing an eye as big as your own head, being grabbed by some huge tentacles and then getting your face ripped off by its teeth (BETWEEN ALL THOSE TENTACLES!!). One of the creepiest pictures was literally just the black ocean with sand on the ground, which at first wasn't creepy, until I saw those dead eyes in the mud and the long thin mouth, that was kind of insanely smiling at me. Because of that and some experiences on lakes or in the sea, where I have been kind of abandoned by my siblings and was left alone with my imagination (which is constantly trying to f*** me) I still can't close my eyes while showering or taking a bath except for if there's some music playing loudly. So I'm really scared of the huge black void that's beneath you when looking down in the ocean, but even more of what might be looking at me (although I'm not really scared of sharks etc., only of what my imagination puts in the water). Now, after writing this, I'll just roll up in my bed, pull up my blanket, shake a little bit and think about those creatures floating in my room, looking down at me while I can't move or breathe. This fear is really destroying me. Sometimes at the most harmless movies I suddenly suspect scenes with water creatures. And I'm not even easily scared. Massacred human body's? No problemo. The bad guy is raping prisoners to death after torturing them (like in wolf creek 1/2)? Meh, shit happens. But if I watch finding Nemo I'll behave like a little pussy.